He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
