i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
