Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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