tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
