hotel room ftw
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
