Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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