Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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