Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Randomize
