can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
