Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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