My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
