Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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