absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
