I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
