I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
