And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
