What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
