Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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