I molested 6 butterflies tonight
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
She's the barista slut.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
