ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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