Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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