I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
