Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
