we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
