And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
