This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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