Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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