Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
