I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
