she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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