I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
