just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
