I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
