What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
