Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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