You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
my vag is so smooth its legendary
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
