Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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