At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
