I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
