Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Randomize
