okay pat passed out under dana's car
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
