Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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