I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Randomize
