Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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