yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
