theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
