Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I FOUND THE LEGS
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
