Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
