Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
