Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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