I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
