JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
