before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
